A Day Of Flying

Yesterday, I left my house at 3:30am.  I arrived at my hotel in Lima, Peru this morning at 1:30am.  What a fabulous day huh?

 Spent most of the day laying on the floor in Mexico City airport.  But it was all good when we boarded the plane and I had an ENTIRE row all to myself.  I slept the whole way to Lima.

Now it´s out to the jungle.  Needless to say, there is no internet access there, so see you in a few weeks.

My Last Night

Tonight is the night.  The last night that I will be lounging on the couch by myself, watching what I want to watch, and eating dinner on my lap. 

I am leaving for a few weeks, on a little vacay excursion with mi padre.  And when I return, Dean will be BACK.  It will be a breath of fresh air having him back in the country.  Firstly, I miss him.  His gentle voice on the phone just doesn’t cut it.  I need him to crawl in bed with me at 3am.  I need him to complement me on my cooking, telling me he wants more when the pans have been scraped clean.  I need someone to go to Target with and just waste time.  I want him to just be here.  He keeps me in line too, which is a good thing these days. 

But, I have gotten used to living by my lonesome.  Doing my own thing.  Cooking and eating when I want.  Sleeping with the windows open.  Checking and double checking the locks every night.  Having the whole damn couch to myself, and being able to sit however I want.

That brings me to another point, don’t know if I have mentioned the “couch” before.  If I have, I am sorry.  If I haven’t, here we go. 

We have inherited two couches.  First one, a hideous bright yellow couch with blue flowers.  Yup, horrible ugly.  It’s comfortable, but just too much.  Our second couch, a lovely over-stuffed Pottery Barn type couch.  Ultra comfy, you just fall into it. 

We used to have both couches in the living, room.  It felt it was really crowded, but he thought it was appropriate.  The thing is, he never sat on it.  And when I threatened to throw it over the balcony when he left, he magically started sitting in the hideous couch.  EVERY NIGHT, until I was fast asleep and then he would move to the other couch. 

Currently the couch is in the second bedroom, but I know this couch is going to cause some raised voices upon my return.

For now, I am enjoying my last night.  And I am even going to have some ice cream here in a minute.

Shite

It’s 5:53pm on a Sunday evening, I am freshly showered, curled up on the couch with all the curtains open and sun shining in.  Sounds like perfection right?

Well, add in that I am hungover and extremely tired because of a night of wine, Jack and Cokes, rejection, gay bars, and taxi rides in Chicago. 

So here I am, counting down the minutes until it gets dark out and I can crawl into bed and probably have a good cry.

Um

I was going to write a post, but it seems to be interfering with my new favorite show, Lipstick Jungle.  I would love to live the life of Nico, especially with her steamy sex with Kirby.

A Breath Of Fresh Air

Today I took a 30 minute walk after work.  It was nice to breath the fresh air.  It was nice not shivering.  And it stayed light long enough that I didn’t run into any raccoons.

These walks along the river and through the quiet neighborhood really helps me to clear my head.  As usual, there are thousands of things running through my hear.  Ideas and fears.  Nothing is clear as of the moment, and I don’t think that it ever will be but I would like things to be clearer.

My New Voicemail Message

Thanks to my hero….Anthony Bourdain, I am going to put this message on my voicemail next week…

“You’ve reached Emily.  I’m in the Amazon, fighting off anacondas, you think I am joking, I’m  serious,  I might not be back to return your call”

or

“You’ve reached Emily, I’m in Peru, in the jungle, hoping not to encounter any psycho snakes, fish, insects, diseases or mammals.  If I am standing upon my return, I will be sure to call you back.”

It’s About Time

His visa was finally issued today, after three very long months.  It’s a very relieving feeling, knowing that there is no more paperwork and that we have at least 18 months to plan our nuptials.  And it doesn’t have to be forced too quickly!

 Sigh.

Some May Think It Difficult

My other half has  been away for THREE months.   It’s strange, but to me this is normal.  We have always had bouts of long distance since we met 5 years ago.  So, it’s not too bad. 

People are constantly asking me “aren’t you sad,”  “don’t you miss him,”  “how do you do it”.  They always have to add the fact that “I could never do that”

Well, message to all of you.  Things are fine.  I survive.  It makes our relationship stronger and sure as hell makes us appreciate the time that we do spend together. 

Of course I miss him.   I wish that he was here when I hear strange noises on the fire escape.  I wish that he was here when my tummy hurt and I need to whine to someone.   I wish he was here so that I could enjoy dinner with someone every night.  But I enjoy having the whole bed to myself. 

The fact that we are both very independent people helps.  I have always done my thing, when I want to do something, I do it.   I don’t ask permission from him.  As he does his own thing.  We converse about everything, but in the end, we are both going to do what we want to do.

I can’t say that our relationship is perfect, NO RELATIONSHIP IS.  But, it works for us.  We are happy.  We do our own thing.  And in the end, we come home to each other.

A Snake Down My Throat

This morning I went “under” and had an endoscopy.  For those that don’t know what this is, they put you to sleep, and then put a giant tube with a camera on the end down your throat in search of abnormalities in my stomach.  Fun?

Almost.  The only part I remember is them wiping the side of my mouth after they took the tube out.  Otherwise, I was out.  They put me asleep at 9am, and I was in a daze until about 4pm this afternoon.  I literally, could not keep my eyes open long enough to go pee.  I finally woke up and drove home (wasn’t suppose to drive), but I was craving my ultra comfy bed tonight instead of sleeping in my childhood bed.

Luckily, they didn’t find anything of concern, but the pain is still there.  I am a lot more conscious of what I am putting in my mouth, which is a good habit.  I am always thinking about how I will be feeling after I eat, which is usually shitty.

A Let Down

Friday was my birthday.  Happy Birthday to me!

Anyways, on a scale of 1-10, this birthday rated about a 3……

 Firstly, I had to sit through a Department of Public Instruction Summer Food Program training.  Finding out that because I had fucked up so bad last summer on the food program, we are again getting audited.  As much as I hoped to learn so much about this stupid thing and all the paperwork, it was the dullest, longest three hours of my life. 

Secondly, when all your friends fail you on your birthday, your parents should be there.  Well, nope mine had made plans.  On my birthday!

Thirdly, Dean’s visa hasn’t come through, and not sure when he might be here, probably after I go on my two-week trip.

Fourthly, another person said they would visit this weekend, and of course, that didn’t happen.  Ain’t no big surprise.

I did have a great birthday dinner last night with my parents in Madison, complete with a fab bottle of wine.  Today I am heading to my parents to open my presents (I already know what I got because my mom was shopping and called me to ask me what I wanted) and prepare for my ”minor surgical procedure” tomorrow morning. 

Lastly, I turned 26.  Which I feel is creeping into my late-20’s.  Ahhh, mid-20’s crisis.  I have been struggling with what I want to do with my life, where I want to live and if I am ready for marriage for the past several months.  And I am lucky that I had this past weekend to myself, so that I have some time to think and ponder what I want my life to be.

I haven’t come to any conclusions, but my mind is racing a thousand miles an hour right now.

I also really shouldn’t be complaining.  One day when I was substitute teaching, I had a kid that was being a little terror.  He wouldn’t listen to me or follow any directions.  I later found out that his birthday had been over the weekend and his mom didn’t even acknowledge it.  He was anxious to come to school that Monday morning because he knew that his teacher (the one that I was substituting for) would wish him a happy birthday.  He was angry when he arrived at school and I was there………